TWITTERING A COLPOSCOPY

Deep in my underwear drawer is a pair of Emmanuel Ungaro floral panties that I have not worn in over a year. Even thought they are not on the frequent rotate schedule, I still love them. They are so colorful; the pattern is lovely. I'd be happy with curtains out of the print! My mom bought them for me when i was in college. Found it at Loehmann's and it came with a matching bra. I picked those because i needed a pair that could accomodate a sanitary napkin.

Today, after all was the day to have a colposcopy. As I was getting ready to leave the house this morning, i got the ingenious/ridiculous idea to twitter about this event. I'm not super competitive but I do like to be first occasionally, and i wondered whether anyone had ever "Twittered a Colposcopy" before.

And just for the record... I am motivated to share this experience beyond setting Twitter records. I am motivated to share this because a colposcopy is a common diagnostic test that many women have when they have consistent abnormal pap smear readings. In fact, I asked my doctor how many he does a week. He said that he does many, but limits them because they are boring. hmmm -- Not the cold hard data i was hoping for, and not exactly the emotional response i was looking for either, but i do get it.

If an action is tedious and frequent,then the actor may become bored with the action, and performing a boring task can result in underachieving and a sort of complacency. I much prefer a doctor who is going to swab my cervix with vigor and vinegar and then really get inspired to study the surface areas that he wants to biopsy.

I'm pretty brave with this stuff and pretty curious, so I generally observe and follow. Of course the whole time I am also wondering, "Are you done yet?" It's not on my top 1,000 places I'd rather be list. There was a lot of swab and tool passing between doctor and nurse aid. In fact, when he asked the nurse to "Pass the crocodile", I saw a long metal instrument with a trigger, and got a little concerned. At that point I looked away, and focused on what i was looking forward to, and i think i diverted my attention for half minute. The sound of the crocodile (snip, snip) was much worse than it's bite.

What does a colposcopy feel like? There is a lot of cotton swabbing which is soft and hard to feel. Honestly, if i didn't see the swabs going in and out, I wouldn't have picked up on it. There were a few moments of minor, fleeting cramping and after the procedure i just kind of stayed on the table for a while just to breathe normally again. My legs were shaking a bit, either because i was cold or hungry or because that is how the fear came out. The nurse offered ibprofen, but I didn't think I needed it. Three hours post-op I have just a tiny bit of mild cramping. After I get up from a nap, however, I may take an Advil.

If you're not particularly brave or less than comfortable about being on your back, legs spread, with a speculum inserted for about 10 minutes, keeping you open for maximal viewing, then you might want to try to distract yourself. The key to making it through an exam like this is to breathe deeply, know that you're doing the right thing. Let nice thoughts pass over. Empty your bladder before for peace of mind too.

And just know that you are not the first woman to be probed and sampled, and you won't be the last. As I left the office, Mrs. Harris, another patient waiting to see the doctor, opened her door wearing a black Hollywood-style turban gussied up with a brooch, a black sweater and socks, and a paper sheet. "Oh, I wonder if they've forgotten about me," she said. "I've been here for so long. Would you mind asking someone?" I turned to her and nodded OK, and in the moment caught a glimpse of her bare butt. Mrs. Harris made me smile, because she has is taking care of herself.

HINT: Doctor's orders: No sexual intercourse for two weeks. so, ladies, schedule your colpolscopy wisely.

Jane Gets Her Annual Six Months Late

I am just back from my annual gynecological exam and I am inspired to blog about it. I do not go into gross anatomy here, but I do use some casually graphic language. I cover some serious issues, yet I've tried to cloak it in a thin veil of humor.

When I called to make an appointment back in the summer, I was told that I could come in November. The timing was dictated by the rules and regulations of my healthcare provider. Lesser attention, I now see, was put on my personal records.

The first thing my doctor asked me when he reviewed my chart was why had I waited a year to come back. (did someone turn up the heat?) He spewed off a bunch of results, "slightly abnormal pap in april 07," "slightly abnormal in august 07...." (growing hotter still) He asked if I'd had a colposcopy before. I told him that I had and that he peformed it. I picked up a vibe of concern; I felt that funny my insides felt a little funny. (warmth spreads up the back of my neck)

I like and respect this particular doctor. He tied my tubes a few years back. He's the only man I will see in this practice. The other male doctor who started the practice gives me a version of the creeps. He once took a phone call while he was examining me and told his pal on the other end, "I'll have to call ya back. I'm in Virginia." I nearly died, but on the flip side, this is great material to file away for a future writing project. Obviously, that doctor will never visit my Virginia again. His privilege has been revoked.



Back to me............


I didn't feel nervous at all until the point where i emptied my bladder prior to the exam. Then all these thoughts swirled in my head - "what if he feels something, what if something hurts, am i ok, I'm at that age when things start happening..." I was scared, because even though I exercise, eat my greens, and have an overall great health history, it just seems like sickness can just creep up on you. I am well-schooled in cervical cancer facts, and know many women who have triumphed over all different stages of it, and yet there are a few cases that just seem to spontaneously appear and progress despite paps and check ups. I swallowed the fear, and breathed myself back to a more relaxed state.

So here's my status as it was clarified today. I've had three very low level abnormal paps and no presence of HPV. I am already scheduled for a colpo in two weeks. The doctor says there very well may be no progression, but just to make sure.... On a very positive note, my blood pressure is 110/70 and I weigh exactly the same as last year.

P.S. To commemorate my first pap of year 45, I wore a navy plaid pair of Victoria Secret cotton briefs with a pink dog pattern and pink lace inserts.

P.S.S. After I paid my co-pay, the receptionist handed me the "What Every Woman Should Know About HPV" brochure. Find out more: www.hpvtest.com

Get Your Mammo!

Ding! The year is up. Time for a mammogram.

Do you know when it's your time? If not, call your doctor and ask. Sometimes it can take a very long time just to get an appointment.

THE FLASH GIRLS VOTE

Jen (far left) and I, along with FLASH music consultant DJ Alyson Calagna (2nd from left) and FLASH creative director Audrey Denson (next to me) waited for 2 1/2 hours to early vote in Ft. Lauderdale today. Being with good friends made the wait sweet. But voting for a candidate we can finally believe in was the icing on the cake. GO OBAMA!!!!

As an aside...this just in.


Photographer and Obama supporter Cheryl Maeder, who will be contributing images to FLASH, took a picture with Matt Damon at Obama West Palm Beach headquarters.

FEEL YOUR BOOBIES WEEK

Just 4 days left for National Feel Your Boobies Week -- but we all know that we can feel them anytime and should "be in touch" often! Why just last night....

I just love this Feel Your Boobies campaign.

From MSNBC.Com: 10 Dangerous Lies Women tell Doctors

Please cut and paste into browser, and read the article. Notice that shame, embarassment, and fear get in the way of our health. Have you ever "fibbed"??

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27052008/?GT1=43001&pg=1#TDY_Health_10MedLies

CERVIX WITH A SMILE

Last night Jen and I returned from LA with a fresh dose of inspiration thanks to the positive energy generated at the National Cervical Cancer Coalition's 2nd Annual Conference with the theme "Patient-Cinician Listen and Learn." The NCCC is a grassroots non-profit organization whose mission is to raise awareness and promote education about cervical cancer and HPV.


This year's event took place at the Hilton in Universal City. About 80 women attended. They came from all over: Vermont, Washington State and D.C., Tennessee, Georgia, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Oregon and of course, Florida... It was like a Miss HPV pageant.



Alan Kaye, Co-Founder of the NCCC, and Sarina Kaye, Executive Director, opened the conference turning the floor over to...



Powerhouse cancer survivor and Washington D.C.-based reporter Tamika Felder (left, pictured with Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, center, and survivor/advocate Michelle Whitlock, right) gave the abbreviated version of her personal battle with the disease. Tamika spoke of how the disease brought our her best self, even though at first, she felt isolated and was the only guest at her "pity party." Through her treatment Tamika learned to fight for her life and to share her story with others. "Every time I share my story, I heal," she said. And then amidst lots of clapping and laughter she called us all "coochie saviors" and listed the 11th commandment as "Thou shall never miss a Pap!"

A select list of researchers and doctors presented the latest info on HPV, the efficacy on the HPV vaccine, treatment, and sex after cancer. I just kept thinking about how brilliant, eloquent, and personable these people are, and how dedicated these people are to women's reproductive health. Dr. Lois Ramondetta, Associate Professor Gynecologic Oncology at University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center said "All of your doctors want you to get well. Just some do it better than others."


Here are some things that stood out for me that I think you should know:
-We get HPV by being human - by doing what everyone does - having Sex!
-30% of girls entering high school have already had intercourse (gulp!)
-Cervical Cancer tends to occur at younger ages than other cancers, often striking women in the prime of their reproductive life.
-Smoking is never ever a good thing. It doubles risk of cervical cancer.
-If you are going through a health challenge, and are not satisfied with your doctor, switch.
-Cervical cancer rates are higher among lower socioeconomic groups.
-Enjoy your chemo -- if you are getting it, you are planning on living.
-Sex boosts the immune system, excercises the heart, relieves headaches, and decreases depression and stress.
-Condom use may help reduce the risk of HPV infection.

More pictures from the conference...


Me and my new friend Annie from New York. As soon as I spotted Annie and her husband Theo at the cocktail party kick-off I knew I'd like her.

Hope -- in all forms is a good thing. Janet Terrill (left) from Indiana came to the conference with her two sisters (pictured below)one of whom is a cervical cancer survivor. Bonnie Butler (right) designed the conference graphics.

Sisters Support eachother: (from left) Debra Lance, cancer survivor Jolene Hensley, and Janet Terrill.

Tamika Felder, Jen, and Rachel Beity, NCCC's Communication Manager

We got in groups and brainstormed ways in which we could create awareness about cervical cancer and HPV in our communities. Jen runs down her group's ideas and leaves Flash 4 a Cause for the grand finale. There was plenty of applause.

Quita Gibson, cervical cancer survivor, and I met last year. Quita roamed around during the conference and took lots of pix.

(from left)Shaundra Hall, 10-year survivor from Arizona, Cindy Renie of Renie Design who commandeers the NCCC visuals, and Lori Stone, a Seattle-based survivor and proprietor of Art Camp for Big Kids.

Off to L.A.

Jen and I are heading to Los Angeles tomorrow for the National Cervical Cancer Coalition's Annual Conference. It was at last year's conference that we got our first comprehensive education in cervical cancer and HPV. It was in Washington D.C. that we started talking to survivors and women still in treatment. It was truly inspirational. Here is the link to a blog I wrote last September.

Jen, we've come a long way since last September! The real journey is just getting started.

Politics Unusual

Let's rephrase "There's a party in you pants" as "There's a party on your pants."
Andrew Christian's
Obama boxers available at Fresh Pair, $30.

Yesterday's Walk for Today

as reported by Nick Stavrides:

On Saturday, September 13th at 5:30 AM, volunteers arrived along the East River of Manhattan. They came to prepare for Tamika and Friends’ inaugural New York event: “WALK TO BEAT THE CLOCK! HELP TO END CERVICAL CANCER” Not only did they set up shop, but their warm smiles set the tone for the day.

Walkers gathered at 8:00. “THE LADIES POWER JAM” band performed, and Tamika Felder, cervical cancer survivor and women’s health advocate, took the stage. She spoke of her personal journey with the disease and how friends, who are basically like family, helped her reach her seventh year of health post-diagnosis. She dedicated the event to every woman who has been touched by cervical cancer, with special mention to Heather L. Martin and Phyllis Leopold, two women who lost their fight.

An outpouring of love, support, and understanding was evident. It filled the air, and energized participants as they walked the route along the water on a beautiful morning. Some walked in quiet reflection. Others shared plans and stories of their own struggles and triumphs with cervical cancer.

Ceremony continued at the finish line. Tamika presented the crowd with a proclamation from NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg declaring it “Beat the Clock Day.” Cervical Cancer “sheroes” shared their stories. Michelle Whitlock spoke about her experience with the disease – how she made multiple attempts at alternative treatments before finally opting for a hysterectomy, and how she harvested her eggs, fertilized and froze them before the surgery. The crowd burst with joy when she told us that those embryos were being implanted into a surrogate as she spoke!

Tamika acknowledged all the people who made the day possible, and with that she announced, “We believe in giving people their flowers while they’re still here!” The event raised approximately $10,000 for the cause! Martha Wash closed out the day with some amazing music, and everyone danced and rejoiced. There was a feeling of empowerment in knowing that the goals that were set forth that day, to prevent more deaths from cervical cancer, are truly obtainable.




Nick Stavrides is a New York artist who works in independent film, TV, oils and acrylics. He found the human rights project, Human Handbook. He jokes that he’s the son of a saint and a social worker ‘cuz his parents taught him to help whenever and whomever he can. He lives in NYC with his love-a-ly wife Steph.

Nick Walks

Jen and I send a big hug and many thanks out to our friend and talented artist Nick Stavrides who participated in Saturday's walk for cervical cancer and HPV awareness and prevention. Nick is married to Stephanie Sullivan, our NYC go-to-girl. He'll be posting a blog about the event within the next day or so.

NYC walk to beat cervical cancer

There's a walk for cervical cancer on Saturday September 13th, 8 am - noon, in New York City. Go to www.tamikaandfriends.org to sign up. $30 to walk along with fabulous people and raise money to prevent the disease. We just got word that our friend will cover the walk and take a bunch of pictures. So hopefully next week we'll get some up her for you to see.

HELEN ROCKS

Jen and I went to New York in early August and spent one and a half hours with Helen Gurley Brown. Helen Gurley Brown, as most of you probably know, masterminded Cosmopolitan Magazine into a worldwide brand and best-selling newsstand publication that every bonafide single woman and wanna-be-single married woman absorbed word for word. Each issue heralded a new opportunity for millions of women to jumpstart their education in the office and the bedroom. Helen dished out dating protocol, recipes for great sex, tips about getting a head and giving it. Thank you Helen!

Our meeting was set for 5:30 p.m. Jen and I were sitting in Helen's spacious office on the 37th floor of the Hearst Tower. It was bright and sunny, and tricked out with leopard carpet, pink french-style armchairs, a plaid chintz sofa, lots of photographs featuring Helen with her movie-producing husband, love of her life David Brown and various other celebs. We were in the company of greatness.

Helen is not as spritely as she once was, but she's swift in mind and her humor fine-tuned. She spoke thoughtfully and from the heart. We shared FLASH with her, and she liked the project calling it "worthwhile" and an "important endeavor." At one point, she gazed curiously at Jen and smiled warmly. "You're beautiful," Helen told Jen, adding a generous compliment about Jen's sensational bosom!

Jen was wearing a stylish white shirt, which had an eyecatching button-down trail to her cleavage. All Jen's curves got their due. "A well endowed woman should always show her cleavage," Helen advised. Jen hung on every word thereafter! When the grande dame soothsayer of sexual attraction compliments your bosom, it don't get much betta than that!

We were certain Helen would have a good underwear story and invited her to write something for "The Diaries." We await her contribution.

In the meantime, here are a few HGB one liners taken from her 1982 book "Having It All: Love, Success, Sex, Money."

"One of life's top ten (top five?) pleasures is shopping for the lingerie... you're going to wear with him, but you're really shopping to shore up your confidence as much as for his delectation."

"I had the most beautiful lingerie -- ivory satin peignoirs with clouds of maribou, jeweled mules, empire waisted black lace nighties, and I just loved whooshing around in them."

(and this has nothing to do with underwear or lingerie, but this is very funny, and i just love her matter of factness.)

"There is no better way to get to know someone than to have an affair...it can save a year of lunches."

The Naked Cowboy

The naked cowboy is a fixture in Times Square, strumming on his guitar, strutting in his tidy whities. After years of passing by this man from across Broadway, I decided it was time to cross the street, and come a little closer. I ushered my flock of three pre-teen girls on green, finally arriving at Naked Cowboy Island, that little bit of safe ground where Broadway and Seventh converge at 45th St.

It was a very hot day. “Can we take a picture?” I asked. I handed the camera to my daughter. The Naked Cowboy pulled me to him. “Oh gee,” I thought. My oldest daughter was astonished and a little grossed out. “Take the picture already honey!” Flash! I tucked $2 into his guitar and was gone.