Cosabella & The City

tonight i'm seeing "Sex & The City" with a coupla girlfriends. Though I have rather low expectations for this cinematic work, i am happy to get together with friends and so I'm getting in the mood.

First things first...underwear. I looked in my drawer, and searched through a few handfuls before finding the sheer pink Cosabella thong. it's probably the most expensive thong I own. It was a gift. Not sure what's going on top, but I know that Carrie would certainly approve of my foundation.

BIG GIRL LOOKS FOR SMALL GIRLS LOOKING

I clicked on an article today. And I could totally relate. The headline read:

Retailer pulls girls’ padded bikini bra

British store criticized for promoting premature sexualization

My 9 year old keeps repeating what the pediatrician told her last month. "Time to go bra shopping," she nudges. During her yearly physical, the doctor took note of her barely swollen nipples.

Sam thinks her boobs are bigger than they actually are. She fake whines about growing pains, but secretly loves it. Not so secretly, actually, because she has shared her excitement with me. I catch her in the mirror, observing her body from all angles. She lays on the couch, one hand on the i-Touch, the other semi-consciously surveying her evolving human landscape.

I did the same thing when i was developing, except I was exploring at 14 or maybe even 15, not 9. I was a late bloomer -- the first one to get teased and the last one to get a bra. My Polish grandmother owned a children's clothing store. She sold training bras. She never offered me one. There was simply nothing to train.

For Sam, support isn't critical at this juncture, but she wants bras. And the shelves are mostly stocked with padded bras even for her size. I told her that I would put bra shopping on the calendar for sometime in the near future. Until then I will guide her to steer clear of tight white tees and distract her with fresh tank tops with built in bras.

Connect the Dots

I have a pair of underwear that I don't like very much. Once upon a time, I thought it -- with its coral polka dots on a yellow ground -- was cheery. But as it turns out, this pair doesn't quite fit right, causing unaesthetic bulges where I wish there were none. Not good. Just not good at all. And the other thing about this thong is that I always seem to put it on incorrectly. Like an equilateral triangle, i stick my legs in the wrong slots, finally noticing that the cotton crotch is on my right hip. I wear this pair occasionally on nothing special days when I don't want to "waste" any others.

I also have a day of the week that I don't like very much -- Sunday. The morning time is totally fine, I enjoy the paper, CBS Sunday Morning, and countless cups of coffee. But as the day wears on, especially in the afternoon, I start to grow weary and agitated. Sunday is the day people end their vacations, get ready to go back to work, and decide to get married because all the good Saturdays are taken.

On this particular Sunday, I chose that particular thong. One would think that my underwear choice would have leaned toward a pair that I really liked -- for example, my g-string with the skull and cross bones motif, -- to act as a kind of buffer to the day. But I simply didn't choose well.

Now it is night time. I am feeling calmer. Reflecting back on the course of the day, I am committed to improving my attitude toward Sunday. Because in the big picture, ya know, I hope to have many more Sundays. My polka dotted thong, however -- no more!

Underwear Gets In Your Head

Long before the launch of "FLASH: The Underwear Diaries" I started collecting old lingerie ads. The Maidenform "I dreamed..." campaign, which ran in the early 60's, was a great concept -- though the bra may harness the body, it can unleash the mind.

"The Underwear Diaries" was originally created as a platform for women to write about the transformative power of their panties. Underwear inspires fantasy and provokes memory. It offers safety and risk, practicality and absurdity, necessity and luxury. It can make a good girl bad.

It’s all this…and more.

"Bad Babes" boyshorts

I have a big important meeting to attend this afternoon. I need to gather up all my maturity and smarts for this one. So I went to my drawer and without hesitation grabbed my "Bad Babes" boyshorts.

First of all, they are 100% cotton. So right there, the message is comfort and dependability. The graphics depict a weapon-toting hot blond babe and saying "Better Watch Out." And the trim is cheery yellow.

Their emotional value disproportionately outweighs the $1.99 sale price

British Celeb Battles Cervical Cancer While the Cameras Roll

Back in the late summer, I started reading about the 27-year old controversial British reality tv celeb Jade Goody and her battle with cervical cancer. Apparently at the time of the discovery, Jade's staging was rather advanced. It is predicted that she has several more months to live.

Jade Goody's personal struggle is making international headlines because she is playing out end-of-life in front of the cameras. The New York Times wrote about it; Newsweek has featured it too. Now, diagnosed as terminal, Jade has chosen to televise the remainder of her life -- her deterioration, her marriage this Sunday -- in the hopes of building a more financially stable future for her two young children while raising awareness about cervical cancer.

I've read some of the reactions to Jade's public display of her bout with cancer. Naturally, there are supporters and critics. Apparently, Jade had a tabloid trash-talking reputation that preceded her cancer. She was not the kind of girl one takes home to mother -- but neither am I all the time -- that's just plain boring and anyway, what does that really mean? Some witnesses hold onto their grudge; others, more sympathetic, allow cancer to be the great neutralizer.

As long as TV isn't channelled involuntarily into our homes and minds, I welcome inventive programming. No one has to watch. I am a curious and compassionate non-obsessed viewer who gets to confront my own immortality when I am tuning in. Her battle is humbling as well, and makes me feel fortunate for my health and the health of those I love.

Find Jade on You Tube or click here to read Jade's story as reported by The Times.

TWITTERING A COLPOSCOPY

Deep in my underwear drawer is a pair of Emmanuel Ungaro floral panties that I have not worn in over a year. Even thought they are not on the frequent rotate schedule, I still love them. They are so colorful; the pattern is lovely. I'd be happy with curtains out of the print! My mom bought them for me when i was in college. Found it at Loehmann's and it came with a matching bra. I picked those because i needed a pair that could accomodate a sanitary napkin.

Today, after all was the day to have a colposcopy. As I was getting ready to leave the house this morning, i got the ingenious/ridiculous idea to twitter about this event. I'm not super competitive but I do like to be first occasionally, and i wondered whether anyone had ever "Twittered a Colposcopy" before.

And just for the record... I am motivated to share this experience beyond setting Twitter records. I am motivated to share this because a colposcopy is a common diagnostic test that many women have when they have consistent abnormal pap smear readings. In fact, I asked my doctor how many he does a week. He said that he does many, but limits them because they are boring. hmmm -- Not the cold hard data i was hoping for, and not exactly the emotional response i was looking for either, but i do get it.

If an action is tedious and frequent,then the actor may become bored with the action, and performing a boring task can result in underachieving and a sort of complacency. I much prefer a doctor who is going to swab my cervix with vigor and vinegar and then really get inspired to study the surface areas that he wants to biopsy.

I'm pretty brave with this stuff and pretty curious, so I generally observe and follow. Of course the whole time I am also wondering, "Are you done yet?" It's not on my top 1,000 places I'd rather be list. There was a lot of swab and tool passing between doctor and nurse aid. In fact, when he asked the nurse to "Pass the crocodile", I saw a long metal instrument with a trigger, and got a little concerned. At that point I looked away, and focused on what i was looking forward to, and i think i diverted my attention for half minute. The sound of the crocodile (snip, snip) was much worse than it's bite.

What does a colposcopy feel like? There is a lot of cotton swabbing which is soft and hard to feel. Honestly, if i didn't see the swabs going in and out, I wouldn't have picked up on it. There were a few moments of minor, fleeting cramping and after the procedure i just kind of stayed on the table for a while just to breathe normally again. My legs were shaking a bit, either because i was cold or hungry or because that is how the fear came out. The nurse offered ibprofen, but I didn't think I needed it. Three hours post-op I have just a tiny bit of mild cramping. After I get up from a nap, however, I may take an Advil.

If you're not particularly brave or less than comfortable about being on your back, legs spread, with a speculum inserted for about 10 minutes, keeping you open for maximal viewing, then you might want to try to distract yourself. The key to making it through an exam like this is to breathe deeply, know that you're doing the right thing. Let nice thoughts pass over. Empty your bladder before for peace of mind too.

And just know that you are not the first woman to be probed and sampled, and you won't be the last. As I left the office, Mrs. Harris, another patient waiting to see the doctor, opened her door wearing a black Hollywood-style turban gussied up with a brooch, a black sweater and socks, and a paper sheet. "Oh, I wonder if they've forgotten about me," she said. "I've been here for so long. Would you mind asking someone?" I turned to her and nodded OK, and in the moment caught a glimpse of her bare butt. Mrs. Harris made me smile, because she has is taking care of herself.

HINT: Doctor's orders: No sexual intercourse for two weeks. so, ladies, schedule your colpolscopy wisely.