British Celeb Battles Cervical Cancer While the Cameras Roll

Back in the late summer, I started reading about the 27-year old controversial British reality tv celeb Jade Goody and her battle with cervical cancer. Apparently at the time of the discovery, Jade's staging was rather advanced. It is predicted that she has several more months to live.

Jade Goody's personal struggle is making international headlines because she is playing out end-of-life in front of the cameras. The New York Times wrote about it; Newsweek has featured it too. Now, diagnosed as terminal, Jade has chosen to televise the remainder of her life -- her deterioration, her marriage this Sunday -- in the hopes of building a more financially stable future for her two young children while raising awareness about cervical cancer.

I've read some of the reactions to Jade's public display of her bout with cancer. Naturally, there are supporters and critics. Apparently, Jade had a tabloid trash-talking reputation that preceded her cancer. She was not the kind of girl one takes home to mother -- but neither am I all the time -- that's just plain boring and anyway, what does that really mean? Some witnesses hold onto their grudge; others, more sympathetic, allow cancer to be the great neutralizer.

As long as TV isn't channelled involuntarily into our homes and minds, I welcome inventive programming. No one has to watch. I am a curious and compassionate non-obsessed viewer who gets to confront my own immortality when I am tuning in. Her battle is humbling as well, and makes me feel fortunate for my health and the health of those I love.

Find Jade on You Tube or click here to read Jade's story as reported by The Times.

TWITTERING A COLPOSCOPY

Deep in my underwear drawer is a pair of Emmanuel Ungaro floral panties that I have not worn in over a year. Even thought they are not on the frequent rotate schedule, I still love them. They are so colorful; the pattern is lovely. I'd be happy with curtains out of the print! My mom bought them for me when i was in college. Found it at Loehmann's and it came with a matching bra. I picked those because i needed a pair that could accomodate a sanitary napkin.

Today, after all was the day to have a colposcopy. As I was getting ready to leave the house this morning, i got the ingenious/ridiculous idea to twitter about this event. I'm not super competitive but I do like to be first occasionally, and i wondered whether anyone had ever "Twittered a Colposcopy" before.

And just for the record... I am motivated to share this experience beyond setting Twitter records. I am motivated to share this because a colposcopy is a common diagnostic test that many women have when they have consistent abnormal pap smear readings. In fact, I asked my doctor how many he does a week. He said that he does many, but limits them because they are boring. hmmm -- Not the cold hard data i was hoping for, and not exactly the emotional response i was looking for either, but i do get it.

If an action is tedious and frequent,then the actor may become bored with the action, and performing a boring task can result in underachieving and a sort of complacency. I much prefer a doctor who is going to swab my cervix with vigor and vinegar and then really get inspired to study the surface areas that he wants to biopsy.

I'm pretty brave with this stuff and pretty curious, so I generally observe and follow. Of course the whole time I am also wondering, "Are you done yet?" It's not on my top 1,000 places I'd rather be list. There was a lot of swab and tool passing between doctor and nurse aid. In fact, when he asked the nurse to "Pass the crocodile", I saw a long metal instrument with a trigger, and got a little concerned. At that point I looked away, and focused on what i was looking forward to, and i think i diverted my attention for half minute. The sound of the crocodile (snip, snip) was much worse than it's bite.

What does a colposcopy feel like? There is a lot of cotton swabbing which is soft and hard to feel. Honestly, if i didn't see the swabs going in and out, I wouldn't have picked up on it. There were a few moments of minor, fleeting cramping and after the procedure i just kind of stayed on the table for a while just to breathe normally again. My legs were shaking a bit, either because i was cold or hungry or because that is how the fear came out. The nurse offered ibprofen, but I didn't think I needed it. Three hours post-op I have just a tiny bit of mild cramping. After I get up from a nap, however, I may take an Advil.

If you're not particularly brave or less than comfortable about being on your back, legs spread, with a speculum inserted for about 10 minutes, keeping you open for maximal viewing, then you might want to try to distract yourself. The key to making it through an exam like this is to breathe deeply, know that you're doing the right thing. Let nice thoughts pass over. Empty your bladder before for peace of mind too.

And just know that you are not the first woman to be probed and sampled, and you won't be the last. As I left the office, Mrs. Harris, another patient waiting to see the doctor, opened her door wearing a black Hollywood-style turban gussied up with a brooch, a black sweater and socks, and a paper sheet. "Oh, I wonder if they've forgotten about me," she said. "I've been here for so long. Would you mind asking someone?" I turned to her and nodded OK, and in the moment caught a glimpse of her bare butt. Mrs. Harris made me smile, because she has is taking care of herself.

HINT: Doctor's orders: No sexual intercourse for two weeks. so, ladies, schedule your colpolscopy wisely.

Jane Gets Her Annual Six Months Late

I am just back from my annual gynecological exam and I am inspired to blog about it. I do not go into gross anatomy here, but I do use some casually graphic language. I cover some serious issues, yet I've tried to cloak it in a thin veil of humor.

When I called to make an appointment back in the summer, I was told that I could come in November. The timing was dictated by the rules and regulations of my healthcare provider. Lesser attention, I now see, was put on my personal records.

The first thing my doctor asked me when he reviewed my chart was why had I waited a year to come back. (did someone turn up the heat?) He spewed off a bunch of results, "slightly abnormal pap in april 07," "slightly abnormal in august 07...." (growing hotter still) He asked if I'd had a colposcopy before. I told him that I had and that he peformed it. I picked up a vibe of concern; I felt that funny my insides felt a little funny. (warmth spreads up the back of my neck)

I like and respect this particular doctor. He tied my tubes a few years back. He's the only man I will see in this practice. The other male doctor who started the practice gives me a version of the creeps. He once took a phone call while he was examining me and told his pal on the other end, "I'll have to call ya back. I'm in Virginia." I nearly died, but on the flip side, this is great material to file away for a future writing project. Obviously, that doctor will never visit my Virginia again. His privilege has been revoked.



Back to me............


I didn't feel nervous at all until the point where i emptied my bladder prior to the exam. Then all these thoughts swirled in my head - "what if he feels something, what if something hurts, am i ok, I'm at that age when things start happening..." I was scared, because even though I exercise, eat my greens, and have an overall great health history, it just seems like sickness can just creep up on you. I am well-schooled in cervical cancer facts, and know many women who have triumphed over all different stages of it, and yet there are a few cases that just seem to spontaneously appear and progress despite paps and check ups. I swallowed the fear, and breathed myself back to a more relaxed state.

So here's my status as it was clarified today. I've had three very low level abnormal paps and no presence of HPV. I am already scheduled for a colpo in two weeks. The doctor says there very well may be no progression, but just to make sure.... On a very positive note, my blood pressure is 110/70 and I weigh exactly the same as last year.

P.S. To commemorate my first pap of year 45, I wore a navy plaid pair of Victoria Secret cotton briefs with a pink dog pattern and pink lace inserts.

P.S.S. After I paid my co-pay, the receptionist handed me the "What Every Woman Should Know About HPV" brochure. Find out more: www.hpvtest.com

Get Your Mammo!

Ding! The year is up. Time for a mammogram.

Do you know when it's your time? If not, call your doctor and ask. Sometimes it can take a very long time just to get an appointment.

THE FLASH GIRLS VOTE

Jen (far left) and I, along with FLASH music consultant DJ Alyson Calagna (2nd from left) and FLASH creative director Audrey Denson (next to me) waited for 2 1/2 hours to early vote in Ft. Lauderdale today. Being with good friends made the wait sweet. But voting for a candidate we can finally believe in was the icing on the cake. GO OBAMA!!!!

As an aside...this just in.


Photographer and Obama supporter Cheryl Maeder, who will be contributing images to FLASH, took a picture with Matt Damon at Obama West Palm Beach headquarters.

FEEL YOUR BOOBIES WEEK

Just 4 days left for National Feel Your Boobies Week -- but we all know that we can feel them anytime and should "be in touch" often! Why just last night....

I just love this Feel Your Boobies campaign.

From MSNBC.Com: 10 Dangerous Lies Women tell Doctors

Please cut and paste into browser, and read the article. Notice that shame, embarassment, and fear get in the way of our health. Have you ever "fibbed"??

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27052008/?GT1=43001&pg=1#TDY_Health_10MedLies